Old Testament Transformers...

So Noah?

The clue is in the first two letters of the title...


 No just no!

 I was really looking forward to this, you know what a sucker I am for a biblical tale.

 With a budget of 126 million and director Darren Aronofsky at the helm ( sorry I couldn't resist a big boat pun) I was expecting something pretty special...


Here the story that is as old as time, seems to have been given an almost post apocalyptic futuristic feeling. In truth it felt in parts almost like even  pseudo science fiction.

An impression that became even more forceful with the arrival on screen of The Watchers - fallen angels who had been left on earth to suffer in payment for their rebellion against the creator.

Voiced by gravel throated actors such as Nick Nolte they lumbered across the screen like Old Testament Transformers or rock encrusted ents from Lord of The Rings...


By the time, the animals were baording the ark two by two, I was praying for the rain to start and wash this film away...

The second half of Noah was worse. After the flood begins, the man God uses to save all animals and humans from destruction decides God doesn’t want the human race to survive. He becomes a psychopath and threatens to kill his daughter-in-law’s child when she gives birth!


 Noah’s director, Darren Aronofsky, told The New Yorker that his movie is “the least-biblical biblical film ever made.” - I'd have to agree with him 100% on that one.

His goal all along was to create an alternative version of the Genesis story—one that is more in line with ancient gnostic heresies than with the Bible. And when Paramount Pictures pressured Aronofsky to re-edit the film to please evangelical Christians, he refused.


I wish I had refused to watch it. I could have spent the time watching Ben Hur for the 100th time and had more fun...

Queen Marie